Unpredictable
by StepAwayFromTheGun
Summary: OC's Alice Top (Alice Top) and Taiyo Johnson (Spazz) lives are forever changed when Kuroshitsuji characters start appearing in each girl's house, creating all sorts of odd problems, but whill the story change when they find themselfs in a whole new world?


**We as in SPAZZZ and Alice do not oun Black Buttler...or do we?**

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If you were to look outside a window, much like being in a plane you would see everything smaller than it truly is. I can guarantee that I can make a raisin look like its eating the sun… if your wondering were I'm going with this, I don't really know… but maybe, what I'm trying to say is that I feel like the sun. I'm powerful, dangerous, bright, but being covered by something so insignificant like a small, week, fragile, raisin.

AKA, my master, who at the moment was giving me a meaningless lecture.

"I will expect the manor to be kept in good condition while I'm gone Alice. I want the floors waxed, the banisters polished, the silverware shined, five new tea sets, all the sheets to be cleaned and pressed…"

I watched as those shriveled, overly red lips kept on blabbing away, spewing the nonsense that I already knew was required of me. Did she judge my skills still after two years serving under her name? Most likely, no. Just probably the ramblings of an 85 year old woman who is worried of the well fair of her house while she is away.

That doesn't change the fact she still irritates me…

"Do you understand Alice?" her voice barked, snapping me back to attention. She had turned all the way around from her spot in front of an old oak desk, hands folded behind her, revealing a face that most certainly can be compared to a raisin, the only difference was that this raisin cost more than one million dollars and was covered with vivid shades of red makeup all over that wrinkly face.

Questioning my own sanity for still serving her, I got down on my left knee in front of her and placed my right hand over my heart, slightly bowing my head of red hair.

"Yes, I, Alice Crimson Top, have understood the orders which I have received, and shall carry them out with the skill and swiftness that a butler from the house of Red should posses." The dried up grape sighed in satisfaction and walked out of the room, shutting the door behind her. I didn't dare move until I heard the car drive away.

"Ha…haha…MWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!:D! I can't believe I actually said that!" Standing up and brushing of my red tailcoat I continued laughing all the way down the empty corridors and right up to the large cherry wood doors.

"Her leaving for 6 months, telling the rest of the staff to go home and leaving me in charge has got to be the best thing that has happened in my two years of serving her!" Giving one last chuckle I closed the door and locked it behind me.

The car ride home was significantly uneventful, well besides a short burst of road rage on my part. My car may be small, but she can sure run faster than a Ford.

Dumping my car keys on the granite kitchen counter near the most needed tea kettle, I glanced around my house. Yep! Everything is where it's meant to be. I changed out of my butler uniform which consists of a crimson tail coat and vest with matching pants, a pair of well shined black shoe's, a black tie, and a still neatly pressed white shirt.

"Ah, a nice hot bath, as a victory celebration of the old bat finally leaving doesn't sound too bad at this moment…eh why not?"

"Ok! I needed that more than I thought!" Stepping out of the tub and grabbing a towel I dried myself off, and put a large, long-sleeved shirt on. Afterwards, I went to unlocked the door only when I went to open the darn thing, it opened itself. "When did I get automatic doors?" Smirking, I added "cool" only to look up and there, standing in my door way, was a very handsome but shocked man. I felt my jaw drop "Oh, My, teacup…" The black haired man and I shared a couple more seconds of staring at each other.

Slowly I reached out for the door knob and slammed the door shut in his face.

"…"

Opening the door again, I saw the man was still there, wearing a very smug smirk on his face instead of the one full of shock. As he opened his mouth to speak, I shut the door again.

"OH MY GOODNESS! There's a creep outside of my bathroom! A very attractive creep…ack! How did he get into my house? Better question why is he in my house?" The door opened and I felt myself being grabbed.

"Please don't rape me!" I scream as the man set me on my office chair...

"Please ma'am, I was wondering if you could tell me where I am?"

A wave of relief washed over me.. '_Thank god, I'm not going to get raped!_' "Oh…Well if that's all you want then-" pausing to look down, realization hit me with a pancake maker.

"Get out!" I screamed, crossing my arms over my chest. His eye's seemed to widen at my yelling. "Get out, get out, get out! I'm only in a shirt!"

Bowing, the man offered with a slight purr in his voice, "Do you need any assistance in changing your clothes?" Gaping at him I grabbed one of the many Red family's checking books that sat on my desk and chucked it at the dark-haired man's head. Unfortunately he caught it.

"Pervert! I can change myself! I'm not some spoiled rich kid!" After he finally retreated out of my office, shutting the door with a click, did I realize that…well I was in my office. Looking at the only clothing in the room that i had placed there the day before.

"Well…good thing I picked up dry cleaning yesterday."

# # sebastian # #

'_My, my, my, this human is sure fun to play with._' Glancing down, Sebastian looked at the object still in his clutches, the folder itself was dark crimson, with a large R printed in gold lettering in the middle. Raising a slim black eyebrow, he opened the book. It read:

_New carpets down the Ivan hallway_ (the master wishes them to be a darker colored red this time)

_Remind the master to not allow guest to walk intoxicated around the west wing_ (mainly the Ivan hallway)

_Find new maid… one that presumably doesn't wish to kill one of the family members._

_Dispose of Mark France's body_ (I never really liked that guy any way)

Sebastian's other eyebrow soon met the other. Was this… a check list?

"But for whom?" There was a muffled cry from behind the door way.

"OW! Dum, stupid, rainbow-eating cabinet!" A chorus of slams soon followed. Chuckling to himself, he flipped the next page over:

_Master wishes for different colored uniforms for the butlers and has instructed me to find an intriguing color of red. She said I should choose since I am the head butler_.

"So this is a butler's check list, how…amusing." More shuffling came from the room behind him. Glancing down at the most resent thing written he read it right when the door opened:

_Pick up dry cleaning_.

"Thank your bottom pockets that I had to pick up the staff's dry cleaning yesterday," glancing down at the book in the other man's hand. "How did you get a hold of my check list!"

Sebastian glanced back up from the object in question. "You threw it at me miss, and this is a head butler's check list, you shouldn't steal things."

Alice bristled with anger snatching back the red book and stuffing the object inside her coat. At this moment, Sebastian realized what exactly the woman in front of him looked like, and to put it in simpler terms, a crimson version of him but with longer hair. For once he doubted his opinion.

"I'm terribly sorry to be asking this but, are you indeed a woman?" Tilting his head to the side, he continued to evaluate her.

_Well he/she is in a butler's uniform and from my knowledge this person should be the head butler if indeed that book belonged to her, but butlers are male, this person has a chest so how can they be not a man but a woman…?_

**_ # _**_ Al_ice #

As the Phantomhive butler continued to scrutinize me, I was in the meantime trying to keep my cool.

_Breathe, breathe, he is not judging, he is not…don't blow up, don't blow up!_

"Excuse me?" *sigh* _I blew up_.

Sebastian seemed to focus on my face. "Listen mister!" Stomping up to him, I jabbed him with my index finger. "You are the one who has trespassed on my property, stood outside of my door, tried to dress me, read through my check list book, and now you're questioning my gender?" I was able to look him in the eye since I was only an inch shorter than he was.

Sebastian smirked down at her. "I believe that entering through your wardrobe explains my sudden appearance, trying to figure out where I am, offering help to the owner of this house, and defending myself is hardly my fault." I backed off a little bit.

"But, I do apologize for my rudeness, though as to why I requested this is for I do not understand how you can be a butler but be a woman at the same time?"

"Oh," I, the red butler, stepped back and looked down at myself "well, um… you see when I first went to apply to the job two years ago, it was for a butler…um… I thought it was a babysitting job." I paused to mumble something along the lines of "it still ended up being like that."

"And after I got the job they tried forcing me into a dress… that didn't work out so well, but then the stubborn old h- I mean my Master refused to have anything else but a butler and nobody else except for me, and thus" indicating down to myself "this was born" bowing deeply at the end of the explanation. Sebastian out of habit did so too, taking the moment to introduce himself.

"I am Sebastian Michaels, head butler for Earl Ceil Phantomhive." I hummed and turned around, walking to the kitchen, Sebastian followed.

"Well since we're doing this, I'm Alice De Blood La Crimson Top, I don't like my full name so just Alice Crimson Top, I get a lot less weird glances when my name doesn't sound like it belongs to a mass murderer." I turned the corner in my home and entered the kitchen.

**-Sebastian_**

Sebastian paused and had to stop himself from gasping.

_'How do they keep the flame in the glass? What is that box thing?_' Thousands of questions flew through his head almost missing the next part.

"I'm the head butler for Duchess Octavia Red." Alice hummed again and glanced at the butler. "So, you want to know where you are correct? And do you like sweets? I don't feel like making pasta today."

Sebastian nodded. "Yes, that would be helpful. Also, what's the year? I'm fine with whatever your cooking." _'Though it's not like I need to eat,_' he added in his head.

"Ok!" She opened the cupboard, left to what he presumed was a stove, and pulled out a box. "Mister Michaels, can you go clear the table? Just put the papers on the counter." Sebastian nodded and started doing what he was asked.

"Let's see, well you're in Utah in the lovely town of Logan" turning around to look at the man siprised her. why? because well he was no longer there.

"well thats Certanly not good"

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OLO people, the next chapter will be righten by SPAZZZ, in her point of view.

mean while reviews are very welcome!


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